Thursday, July 1, 2010

RIP Aunt Jo

Second day of orientation went well, tomorrow is the first test and I'm going to study hard tonight. I was really distracted during training today as my mind was focused on my aunt in Florida.
While on facebook last night I read my cousin's post about her mother. She said something along the lines of...today was a kicker, the straw that broke the camel's back. My mother shot herself by accident and is dead. I will miss her....I was not sure if it was literally her mother or maybe a mother in law or somebody who was a mother figure she was referring to. I began to panic a little. My other cousin and aunt were also on facebook leaving comments to please call them and elaborate. Well, after mass confusion and frustration with the lack of information, I was told last night my aunt did shoot herself while cleaning a gun, but that story changed today. My aunt took her own life after a break up with her boyfriend of two years. Wow! I had no idea she was capable of it! I would be lieing if I said suicide had never crossed my mind. It has many times. I thought about it before my accident and after my accident. I'm glad I never acted on those tendencies because I love my life and value each and every inkling of it. The saying "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" speaks volumes and I wished my aunt could have worked through her heart break and sought medical intervention for her depression. I hope she didn't leave the world thinking that she wasn't loved.

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