When things get tough....

Last night while lying in bed, I began thinking about the things that are weighing on me. I thought about  how frustrating it is to have things burdening me and having no means of fixing them. I have family and friends who rely on god to help them get through their struggles. They say they put "it" in god's hands and he will guide them through what needs to be done. I myself have never had that "relationship" with god. I didn't grow up in a family that attended church. I cannot ever recall having a conversation with my parents that involved a higher power.

I have often thought about those who are spiritual and have faith. It seems that those who can rely on a higher power to get them through the rough patches in life, are possibly healthier and more optimistic than those who don't. I honestly don't have that and it makes me somewhat envious of those who can.

Many times on Facebook I run across a post that someone is requesting a prayer request for themselves or for loved ones. I don't want to ignore their request, but I also don't promise a prayer because I would be fibbing! Instead I respond with, "Thinking of you" or something similar. I don't know why I cannot break the wall that separates me and prayer.... it's complicating!

Many years ago while in a nursing home I received physical therapy. The Physical Therapist was friendly and struck up a conversation about her past. She admitted to not going down the right path when she was younger. She was on the verge of leaving town and giving up everything. She said while driving down the highway she received a "message" from God. She went on and on and dummy me showed interest and this fueled her fire. For weeks she would come in my room and start encouraging me to find God. She said all I had to do was ask god to come in my life and I'd be saved. Again, I didn't cave.

Looking back I realize how unethical this was. She should not have been pushing her spiritual beliefs on a patient, especially to the degree she was. In her defense though, it was something she felt strong about and it turned her life around for the better! Maybe she wanted me to feel what she felt. :)