Forgiveness

Hello! Today I was watching The Early Show and caught an inspiring segment about Forgiveness. The segment was about a lady who lost her only 23 year old son in 1993. He was fatally shot by a 16 year old boy at a party, which they both were attending.

The 16 year old was charged (rightfully so) with murder and was sentenced to 25 years. He served 17 1/2. A few years before he was released the mother who lost her son wanted to meet the man who took her son's life. She wanted to forgive him to have peace within herself. They met, continued to meet and are in each others lives every day. They are neighbors!!! She spoke with her landlord and convinced him/her to give this man a chance and he/she did. He is now employed, attending church and teaching others about forgiveness. :) Beautiful story, huh?

Another story I heard about on The Early Show was a story about an 18 year old named Ben Breedlove who lost his life Christmas morning. He had a heart attack. Here is the link to the 7 minute video he posted December 18th AND the article that tells his story. Ben Breedlove had a heart condition and has cheated death four times. He began to grow tired of the disease, the hospital visits, the near death experiences and wanted to be at peace. He talks about it here on this link. Ben Breedlove Notice the times on the video when he smiles and when he doesn't.

Merry Christmas Eve

Hello! I hope you have a Merry Christmas tomorrow!! :) I will be spending the afternoon with my sister, brother and their families which I'm looking forward to doing. My sister and I hit a rough patch recently (I blogged about it) so I hope what happened a couple weeks ago doesn't interfere with our family time tomorrow. I often use this blog to vent about my frustrations because well it's therapeutic for me and we all need an outlet. Right?

Uh Oh I feel a rant coming on. Tonight Steve's band (Terrapin Moon) has a gig and I have to be honest and say I am not looking forward to it!! We have been snapping at each other all day and coupled with the Giants winning today and the Eagles not being in the playoffs now....its been a bad day and the night will only get worrse I'm sure! I hate, absolutely hate asking him to do anything for me when he is in a bad mood!! Fu#k me!! He leaves for Delaware tomorrow....much needed break? Absolutely!!

I visited with my niece Tia Thursday night. She is home from Texas until January 1st. I missed her so much!! She looks so pretty and grown up...Her boyfriend Shawn is also home from the service so they will be joined at the hip I'm sure. :)

Monday my aunt and I will be meeting at the cinema and having a movie marathon. Not really a marathon, just two movies. :) We are first watching War Horse and then The Girl with the Dragon tattoo. Her and I always enjoy going to the movies and then critiquing them afterwards. :)

Tuesday

Hello! I Hope this blog finds you happy and well! I am!!! :)  I began taking Chlorophyll pills about a week ago. I heard they are good for your bladder and are a good way to detoxify your body. Some testimonials I read were people feel 100% better and have more energy. I also read that one may experience flu like symptoms for a couple days while the Chlorophyll is getting in your system. I haven't noticed changes yet, but we shall see. I have many urinary tract infections and really want to find a way to cut the number down so I'm not relying on antibiotics so often. I also got some d-mannose which takes something out of the urine. I should know what it does before I start blogging about it, huh? :) Ha! I haven't taken the d-mannose yet. I will wait and see what the chlorophyll does.

Somebody broke out the back window of my neighbor's truck the other night! There was nothing stolen, but the fact it even happened is horrendous!! We live in a safe neighborhood and have rarely had any trouble, but this incident makes me realize these things can happen everywhere and I need not be naive to this!

Christmas is right around the corner. My bf is going out of town for a few nights and I'm not 100% certain what I'm doing yet. I have been invited to a couple places, so decisions decisions! :) No matter what I decide, I'm certain it will be a GREAT day!

Family

Hello! Today is Sunday already and tomorrow Steve's Mom and Dad are leaving in the morning. Their time here always goes by so fast, it's hard to believe five days have past so quickly. They helped so much with Christmas decorations inside and outside which is always much appreciated! :) Last night around midnight we all gathered in the living room and celebrated our Christmas together being it was going to be a busy day today getting ready for their trip back home.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow, the start of a fun and possibly busy week! :) I will be visiting with my friend, which I always look forward to doing. :) I also have grocery shopping to do and a couple errands to run. Fun times! :)

Belly buttons and jury duty

Hello! Hope you are having a great weekend! :)

Anybody who knows me probably knows I have a phobia of belly buttons. Not in general, but in the sense I hate my belly button being touched. It's ultra sensitive and when its touched it sends me through the roof. It started after my accident and I have no idea why it makes me crazy! Anyway... today I was in bed and in the midst of me getting dressed, my aunt called. At this point I was partially dressed with a towel draped over me. While I talked on the phone my stna applied my lotion to save some time since we were in limbo. Well, Lady loves the taste of lotion. I usually always let her lick my arm or leg for awhile after I get lotion applied because well, I strive to make my baby girl happy.  :) Today, though she had a different agenda. She wasn't interested in my arm or leg....she went straight for the lotion on my belly button! Oh muh God... I was going through a plethora of emotions.. Panic, denial, anger...you name it. I didn't want to yell at her, but I was about to become unglued. She eventually stopped when her attention got diverted, but 11 hours later I'm still experiencing belly button discomfort! What the H? Anyway...

One day this week I was opening my mail and noticed an envelope from the County Sheriff Department. Hmmm why am I getting mail from them, I thought to myself. Well, it was a letter inviting me to jury duty in March. Hmmmm says me! I have always thought jury duty could be a cool thing to experience, but now I'm thinking not so much. I like court shows and trials on tv, but only if they are real. I'm all about Forensic Files, Snapped and especially Trutv, it's my weakness. I don't think though that I will be lucky enough to be chosen to sit in and deliberate on an elaborate case like the kind I see on tv. It will be something minor like traffic offenses or the like. BORING! :)

Chances are great that I will not be chosen to participate. My dad had to go and report for jury duty in the 90's and got sent away because they asked him if he had ever lost or had a faily member or loved one seriously injured in a vehicle accident. Since he had, well they probably figured he might harbor bad feelings towards the driver and this could cause him to be bias. (correct word?) Anyway...we shall see! :)

Hump day!

Today I spent some time with my friend Teri, who was my nurse when I first moved here. She only worked for me as a nurse for a short time because of a career change, but we have remained friends ever since! We went to Bath and Body works, Petsmart and then went to Frisch's where we sat for what seemed like hours catching up. We talked, we laughed, talked more, cried, talked more... :)

I have been thinking a lot about my sister and the whole facebook comment. I was wrong by outing her in the manner I did and feel like a true tookas!! I have built up anger and probably chose the wrong avenue to vent. She has always justified not visiting me by saying she knew dad was with me and I wasn't alone. Regardless of what happened in the past or what didn't happen I need to let it go and focus on the here and now!

Steve's parents arrived today and will be here until early Monday. I'm unsure what we have planned, but I'm sure they will help with getting Christmas decorations up inside and outside. They always keep busy and are non-stop. :) Unfortunately this trait doesn't run in the family.... :)

Have a great evening!!

Mice, the finale, besties and family night!

I know my previous post was really bitchy! The noisy mouse was just getting on my last nerve and I wanted him dead. The next morning Heather and I emptied the contents of the basket and to my surprise all the little guy wanted was a strawberry twizzler. What mouse wouldn't want a strawberry twizzler, right? He also chewed on an unpopped microwave popcorn bag, but didn't get it open all the way. Anyway...he is still alive and will probably make himself heard tonight. Unfortunately for him, things are in tupperware now and not easy to chew! Sorry Mr. Mouse!

Tomorrow Steve is going to Miami for the weekend and I have plans with friends. :) I love the time I spend with friends! I don't have a big circle of friends, but the couple I do have are the best and I'm beyond blessed to have them in my life! Thank you besties!!!! :)

Tonight my brother, his wife, their boys and their nieces are coming over and we are making pizzas. :) I'm excited to see the family. My nephew's birthday was November 18th and I have a present to give him. I'm totally embarrassed to admit that I totally forgot his birthday! November 18th came and went and I didn't give his birthday a thought until my brother talked about it last week! I apologized and made him swear not to tell his wife that I forgot their son's birthday! She would be totally apalled! (sp?) My dad's birthday is November 18th and his the only birthday I seem to associate that day with for some reason.

Mouse part 2

The part I said in my previous post about not wanting to kill the mouse who is eating my bread and shitting on my counter...I take it back!!! He is back AGAIN and bold as hell!! He is making so much noise as he peruses through my wicker basket filled with tasty cakes, tootsie rolls and kit kat bars that it's annoying the hell out of me! Every time I roll in the kitchen to get a glimse, he gets quiet and runs off. I roll back in to the family room, get on my computer and BAM he is back in the basket helping himself. I want a cat!! To be continued!

Mice

Unfortunately when the cold weather comes, so do the furry little field mice who are trying to find some heat and get their bellies full. Over the past several weeks I've heard a scratching type noise near the kitchen cabinets and I know its mice, but I have no idea how many! Today it was pretty incessive so I rolled over to the refridgerator area where I thought I heard the chewing noise, but couldn't see anything. The closer I got the louder he was so I tried to be hush hush. I tried to whisper really loud for Steve, who was down the hall,  but the mice must have heard me. It was then that I heard a loud rustle and then the chewing stopped. A few moments later after Steve came in I saw a gray blurr go under the dishwasher! My heart stopped and it was then that I rolled out of the kitchen about as fast as the mouse went under the dishwasher!

I hate having mice! I hate finding gnaw marks in the bread bag! I hate seeing their little dookie droppings! I can't get myself to set mouse traps though. I don't want them, but I don't want to kill them, either. We have live traps we can use, its just figuring them out. :)

Twilight

Hello! Hope you're having a good week! :)

We got some snow here in Ohio yesterday and well, boo!!! Can you tell I'm not a fan? :) I'm quite the sun worshiper and have never much cared for the fluffy white stuff even as a child growing up. Don't get me wrong, I played in the snow, built snowmen and made snow angels, but I always preferred the warmer weather over the blistering cold winter months. Now, because I'm a quadriplegic and my internal thermometer is out of whack causing me to be cold most of the time, this couples my dislike for Ohio weather in the winter months. Aren't I just a peach this evening?? :)

 Well, I can finally say that I have watched all 3 twilights and am ready to go see Breaking Dawn! I had a hard time grasping the whole vampire and werewolves concept, but with the help of my nurse, I think I got it now. :) Also, I'm team Edward! :) I watched a funny movie today which was a spoof of the first twilight. I think it was called Vampires suck. If you get an opportunity to see it, its funny! :)

Black Friday

Today is Black Friday and I was a stick in the mud and stayed home! I don't go out and shop for huge deals on black Friday because I don't know if I believe the huge deals are really out there! I hear on the tv commercials that they are. I see in the newspaper ads that they are... but, are they really??? I went one time (two years ago) and bought a pair of panties for .99 and a Nike sweatshirt for $19.99. That wasn't worth a night of no sleep, freezing my tookus off and the gas it took to get me there. Sigh!

We went to see Steve's dad yesterday and really enjoyed our visit! We drove to PA in about 4 hours, visited for the entire day and got home around midnight. The part of Pennsylvania we were in is full of hills and curves. It makes me think that people in Pennsylvania have to change there car brakes more often than those not in Pennsylvania. No?? Anyway...great trip! :)

Tomorrow I'm going to the Hara Arena National Holiday and Gift Show with my aunt and my friend, Barb. I hope to get some Christmas shopping done and enjoy my time out at the same time. :)

Happy Thanksgiving

Well, tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I want to start off by telling you the things and people that I'm grateful to have in my life. My boyfriend, my dogs, JAS (you know who you are...ha!) my nurse and nursing assistants, my bf's family who have always accepted me and of course my family! I am thankful for the roof over my head and especially thankful for my wheelchair, which is like my legs because it gets me around! :) Also, my standing frame which I enjoy more than anything!

We are heading to Pennsylvania tomorrow to spend the day with Steve's dad, who recently bought a new house in E. McKeesport. My nurse assistant and I worked in the kitchen today cooking a 4 lb. turkey breast, making stuffing (pouring it from the box to the sauce pan while adding water) and baking croissants to tote with us tomorrow for our Thanksgiving day dinner!

Have a great day and Happy Thanksgiving!

B-Dubs

Hello! Hope everybody had a great weekend! :) I had a good weekend. Friday & Saturday was pretty uneventful for the biggest part, but Sunday afternoon was spent at the skating rink in Kettering and at Jimmie's Ladder 11 lounge in Dayton later in the evening. We went to the skating rink that afternoon to watch my nurses daughter skate while my nurse and Steve worked on nursing notes: That evening Steve had an acoustic gig with his band member David, which sounded great. It was a good day!

Today I spent my manic Monday at Krogers doing my weekly grocery shopping and later that evening I met a friend at BW3's for a couple beers and appetizers. :) I really like Bdubs boneless wings smothered with their mild sauce. :)

Honesty

The other day while on facebook I got a message from an unhappy individual, which I did not appreciate! In retaliation mode I said some "not so nice" things back that I now cannot take back, unfortunately. On that note... I understand how being honest is always better, but not always the easiest.

Somtimes I am guilty of not being forthcoming with the events of my every day life. Sometimes I think some things are better left unsaid. I sometimes justify this as I'm not lying or being dishonest, I'm just not saying anything about it at all! In all reality though, am I lying by omission?? hmmmm

I guess its a catch 22. In my situation my boyfriend and I do our own thing. We don't question each other about our whereabouts, we don't snoop at each others e-mail or text messages, we don't set the tripometer and monitor where each of us go, etc. I couldn't imagine being in a relationship where those things were happening. I admit though I have not always been so passive. I'm not exactly sure when it changed or why, but I like not having that insecurity burdening me.

In the news..

Today I learned my previous case manager (Mary Kilby) through carestar was being indicted for the death of a 14 year old girl who passed away from neglect. She weighed 28 lbs and was compared to as a skeleton by the Montgomery County prosecuting attorney. The girls mother was arrested yesterday and three nurses were arrested this morning. One nurse took care of  the girl 6 days a week and the other two nurses were supervising over the case and suppose to do home visits to check on the well being of the girl who has cerebral palsy. It really surprised me to see Mary in the news and her mug shot on the front page of the paper. She was very thorough while she was my case manager and ALWAYS looked out for my well being!

Tomorrow is my dad's birthday. He would be 76. I love you daddy-O and think about you a billion times a day! I miss you!! :)

I will write more this weekend!

Woodland Taverns

Last night we went to Woodland Taverns in Columbus for the 2nd annual Grateful Tribute night, which is a tribute to the Grateful Dead. (Maybe it was obvious, but just in case it wasn't) :) Again, like last weekend both Terrapin Moon & Skeleton Crew were lined up to play back to back making it nice to get the enjoyment of listening to both bands on the same night and under the same roof! :)

Steve wanted me to hear another band called The Jim Miller Band and they sounded phenominal. It's strange how you get bands who share the same musical repertoire, sing the same songs, but sound so different. :) Anyway...it was a fun night!

Today I just hung around the house and got caught up on some much needed paper work. Tonight I will be stand:ing in my standing frame and glued to the tv watching Dexter and Homeland.

In the news

I was watching The Talk yesterday and the ladies were discussing the Texas Judge William Adams who was caught on video beating his then 16 year old daughter Hillary with a belt. The video was 7 or 8 minutes long, but the 18 seconds I watched was way enough for me. Evidently she had been getting beaten more frequently and a pattern was beginning to develop as to when she would receive them, so when she knew the next one was coming she decided to video tape it. This particular time she was getting punished for illegally downloading music that she didn't purchase!

The video was from 2004. Here it is 2011. Why 7 years later? This story leaves a bad taste in my mouth. We all know every side has two stories and we know the media runs with stories, but this video can not be disputed!! He beat her continuously with a belt and humiliated her as he did it. His side of the story is he was disciplining her because she downloaded the music illegally. He says that she is bringing the video to surface now because she is mad at him for cutting her financial support down and not paying her mercedes car payment anymore. He said he is teaching her to not be self suffient because she is only working part time in a video store. Her side of the story is she was too scared to bring the story to light while she lived at home and she wants him to get help. She did admit to feeling bad for doing it though because she doesn't want her dad to get in trouble.

Well, I read that he probably will not be facing charges because the 5 year statue of limitations has passed, but another judge is filling in for a couple weeks while the case is reviewed. Regardless, this man's reputation as family judge is ruined and I bet he will not be re-elected when his term is up in 3 years.

Children need discipline. It's how they learn boundaries on what is right and wrong. There are several forms of discipline that can get the point across and beating them with a belt for eight minutes is not one of them IMHO. I admit I have came across a handful of kids in my life that I'd like to smack their smiles to the back of their head because of their rudeness, but obviously I don't carry out the act. I don't know how I would handle discipline if I was a parent, but I'd like to think I wouldn't resort to beatings and belittling. The children are our future and the same ones who will choose which nursing home they will put you in. :)

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween! I hope you had a nice weekend! On Friday night I went to Canal Street Tavern to watch both of Steve's bands play at a Halloween party. I think this is the first time both of his bands were hired to perform at the same place back to back! Anyway...I sort of dressed up as a football player. I wore a jersey and painted black lines under my eyes... it was cheap and easy!! :)

My picture was tagged to me on facebook and well.. I'll just say I'm not feeling the love. It wasn't a horrendous picture, but it was pretty darn close! Hopefully people were too intoxicated to notice the black under my eyes was smeared down to my cheek bones!!! I hate the tag feature!
The cold weather is here and when the cold weather comes so does my chest congestion and a nagging cough!!! I have been using my percussion vest more often to break up the mucous in my chest, but not as diligent as I should. I'm prescribed to use it once a day for 20 minutes year round . It's hard for me to justify using it though, when there is no congestion to break up in the Spring and Summer months. My friend Leslie, who is an asthma educator and respiratory therapist, gets on me about not using it as often as I should. She reminds me all the time if I use it everyday I wont experience the chest congestion and nagging cough when the cold weather approaches! Anyway....

Blast from the past

Today I had a visit from a girl who lived down the street from me on Lightner Blvd. That is the street we both grew up on with our families and where we spent our evenings playing kickball, softball, riding our bikes, building forts and doing whatever else we could find to get in to that evening before the sun went down and it was time to get ready for school the next day. :) We were all so energetic and loved being outdoors!
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Unfortunately, her brother Eddie (and our friend) passed away in 1986 while in basic training for the Marines. That was such a sad day in the neighborhood! The story back then was he had an enlarged heart and that caused his death. I was told today though that there were doubts on whether that was the case or not.

I have not seen her since 2000 at my Mom's funeral. The funeral was a dismal time and not a time to catch up, so we haven't really spoken since High School. Anyway, She came with her 20 year old daughter who had fun listening to us reminisce (sp?) about family, neighbors and about the things we have been up to since High School. :)

We plan to get together soon and adding a few others from our clan to join us! Should be fun! :)

Happy hump day!

Hello! It's Wednesday and I'm getting ready to run some errands. They're errands I shouldn't have to run and I'm a little salty! My brand new printer is flubbed up all ready and I have to see if I can get it repaired. The part of the printer that pulls the paper through to scan and fax is broke! The printer is big and bulky and not easy to haul around, so I feel bad for my nurse assistant who has to carry it for me. Maybe I will buy her dinner tonight for her troubles? Maybe she will leave her undies at home this week?? Hehe, just kidding!! I wish the printer would fit on my lap, but it doesn't, unfortunately. Anyway..

I had a visit from my friend this week! He was in the area for business and made the time to come and play catch up for awhile! He is the same friend who only visits when he is in Dayton....other than that I'm not worth the time and gas money. :) Totally kidding... I know he reads this and I'm giving him a rough way to go. :) I enjoy visiting with him no matter what the circumstances are and always appreciate him coming to see me.

I just read an article about Mayor Bloomberg, mayor of New York, and his remarks on making more handicapped accessible taxis in New York. Evidently he said that it would cost too much money because they are gas guzzlers and cost $15,000 more than traditional taxis, they would be uncomfortable to average riders because of suspension, they would not generate enough tips to the cabbies, and also that it's too difficult for persons in a wheelchair to hail a cab and they may get ignored.

Mayor Bloomberg is missing a sensitivity chip it seems and hopefully karma doesn't bite him in the ass! I don't wish wheelchair life on anybody, but it can certainly happen without it being wished upon...shame on you Mr. Mayor!

Bath Bomb

While browsing around at Living Simply Soap Wednesday I came across something that is called bath bombs. They are about the size of a tennis ball, look like soap and come in a variety of scents. You put them in your bath water and they dissolve almost immediately and leave behind a great smell and leave your skin silky smooth. I bought one because well, I couldn't leave the store empty handed you know. What kind of customer would I be? I also bought a peppermint chapstick. :) Anyway, today I decided to put my bath bomb to the test.

I plopped it in my bath water and it dissolved within a minute. It left a white layer of bubbly substance in my water, it smelled nice and I guess it made my skin soft. I really don't know for certain. I think these would make nice gifts to add to a woman's gift basket if it had girly things like lotions and sprays. :)

I made my bubble bath last two hours this morning. I love soaking in the tub, it's like going to my own little spa. :) When I get in the tub I don't fill it up with water until my shower chair is all the way lowered, it's reclined and I'm strapped in.  When the water is turned on and starts filling up my legs start kicking (spasming) fiercely as soon as the water hits the top of my legs. It must stimulate the skin or nerves to respond the way they do. Anyway..my legs might not enjoy the bath, but I do. :)

Thongs

On Thursday while getting in the van my nurse assistant found a sexy pair of thong underwear on the drivers side floor. She seemed freaked out and I think she was assuming my bf had been messing around. My mind didn't go that direction, instead I thought about who drove my van last and perhaps they dropped them from their purse. I honestly thought the latter would be the case considering my bf usually doesn't drive my van unless I'm in it and if he was going to have sex with somebody else he would probably not do it in my van. Maybe I'm wrong?!?! Anyway!


I asked the only two nurse assistants that could be the owners of said undies based on the size and style and neither claimed them!! Today when I asked my nurse assistant again (in person) if they were hers, she said no and blew it off that she has found undies in her laundry basket before that were not hers or her daughters, as if I should do the same. I snapped at her a little and asked if she was married and found another woman's panties in her domain would she think differently? She said, "Oh yes!" I said, "If somebody isn't fessing up because of embarrassment, I'm going to make accusations that aren't fair" She then said, "Now you got me thinking I should check if they're mine" I  couldn't believe what I was hearing. Long story short---They ended up being hers! :)

Rain Rain Frickin Go Away!

This constant down pour of rain and 50 mph winds is getting ridiculous! I don't know if we're really getting 50 mph winds or not, it just sounded good! :)

Today my nurse assistant, my aunt and I visited a nice couple who used to be friends with my grandparents. Their names are Paul who is 94 and Rinola who is 70. They live about 45 minutes away and their home is right off a huge lake. They are such nice people and enjoyable to listen to as they share stories of growing up in Dayton and Sidney, Ohio. :) I could listen to them all day long.

My aunt bought me a bug zapper and I tried it today. We zapped a spider and when I say zapped....I mean zapped!! It looks like a small tennis racket and it takes two batteries. When the bug touches the center, you push a button and it fries the bug!! It makes a loud zapping sound and kinda smells like something is burning. Well, something is burning, the bug!! I almost felt guilty zapping the spider. I don't dislike spiders, I dislike the possibility of them crawling on me and me not being able to get them off of me.

Pumpkin carving

Today I enjoyed the day with my nieces and nephews decorating pumpkins, which was uber fun! This year I decided to jazz things up a bit, though!

In the past I would buy each of the kids a small pumpkin and get some paint so each could create their own little individual "masterpiece" with their own idea of what they wanted their pumpkin to look like.

This year I decided we are carving pumpkin faces instead of painting. When I was young I loved getting my hands inside the pumpkin head to pull out all the seeds and stringy innerds and feeling all the pumpkin goo in between my fingers. It was awesome! I assumed all kids were like me at that age! No??? I was so wrong! All I heard was, "We need gloves!! Ewwww this is sticky! This is smelly! This feels weird! Oh my gosh! After a couple minutes all four kids left the table to play and left the dirty work for my nurse assistant and my sister in law! Can you place an L on my forehead?

Afterwards we got the kids back to the table so they could finish their pumpkins and they had fun with the rest of it. We took pictures, iced cupcakes (tried to anyway) and passed out goody bags. It was a great day and I will post pictures tomorrow. :)

Weekend

Hello! Well, its Sunday and the closing of another October weekend! A beautiful weekend I should say, because the weather was absolutely perfect! :)

On Friday I went to J-Alan's in Dayton to watch my bf's band., Skeleton Crew, perform. I stayed for just the first two sets because I had an early day Saturday, so I didn't want to be out too late. They sounded great and it was a good time!! :)

On Saturday I went to the Yellow Springs Street Fair, the Apple Butter Fest and to my friend, Leslie's house for the evening. I found pumpkins @ the Apple Butter Fest  that were only $1.00 each. I bought five because I'm having my nephews over Saturday to carve pumpkins. Yay!! I love a bargain! :)

Frustration prevails

I don't know if I'm experiencing pms or what today, but my frustration level is through the roof. It's not taking much to push my buttons. I think know, me not being able to find a job has everything to do with my frustration.

I had a job prospective (right word?) last week and I was really hoping to get it. I received an e-mail saying, we want to hire you, but all classes are full. You are on a waiting list, so as soon as somebody backs out we will contact you. Check your e-mail daily" Well, it gave me a little hope for a day or two,  but all hope is gone now! Very frustrated! I always think when somebody says something and then says but, it takes away everything they just said before the word but!!! Right??

I will keep looking and looking! I have the seasonal job coming up, so that will be something! I really want permanent work!

In the President's Secret Service

I'm reading a great book titled, In The President's Secret Service. The author is Ronald Kessler. It's sort of a "tell all" book about what some of the secret service agents witnessed and dealt with while working with different presidents.

I was shocked to learn that Nancy Reagan was bossy, uptight and rude to the agents while Ronald was a complete gentleman who was friendly, talkative and laid back. His favorite thing to do was ride horses with Nancy and her favorite thing was staying inside and talking to her friends from L.A.

I learned that Kennedy had multiple affairs (no shock there) and so did Lyndon B. Johnson. One time Lady Bird Johnson (his wife) caught him on the couch having sex with his lover and he yelled at the secret service for not warning him that she was home early. Afterards he installed a button that the agents would push to alert him when the Mrs. was coming home. LOL!! I read that he would walk around in the buff at times, urinate from the balcony and have meetings while in the bathroom having a bowel movement. (Awkward).

I learned that Jimmy Carter was mean and wouldn't speak to the agents at all. They were told to not speak to him or even look at him. He carried an empty bag while traveling to make it look like he was carrying his own, and at one time he tried to attack a stray jack russell terrier with a saw because it was eating his cat's food! Wow!

I still have a lot more to read, but highly recommend this book!

The Help

I saw The Help this evening and well, it was a good movie! Long, but good. Living in the 1960's as an African American had to be tough. Nobody should have been treated the way the blacks were treated back then. I cannot imagine how they felt being segregated, being treated like a disease, not allowed to use the white person's toilet, not allowed to use the utensils the white people used, etc! Quite the eye opener this movie turned out to be!!

On that note... we are in 2011 and this is a terrible thing that happened in the past. I think that many times nowadays what happened in the past still haunts us today!! I won't ride that slippery slope today!

I'm not sure which movie we will see next. Whats Your Number? opens tonight and that looks like a fun one to see. I like Anna Faris...she was so funny in Scary Movie and The House Bunny.

Dolphin Tale

Hello reader(s) hope you are having a GREAT week! :) My week is going well I suppose...we are certainly getting oodles and oodles of rain here in Ohio. I know I know we need it! But, I honestly don't think we needed this much though, I'm just sayin' is all. :)

Today I went and saw the movie Dolphin Tale. It was a great movie and is proof that animals aren't dumb. I highly recommend it (especially for animal lovers). It kept me smiling from the beginning of the movie all the way to the end. Winter, the dolphin, is quite a trooper! You can read about the story of Winter at www.seewinter.com.
Tomorrow I'm going to see 'The Help" with my aunt and nurse assistant. We heard that is a good movie, too.

Kevin Nealon

Last night we went to The Funny Bone to see Kevin Nealon and it was hysterical. My cheeks hurt from laughing so much! I recommend seeing him if you get the opportunity. The thing I like most about him is he doesn't get vulgar. He keeps it clean for the biggest part and REALLY has fun with the audience! :) Below is his picture and a link to a youtube clip of one of his stand up shows.



http://youtu.be/ng-_mm0z-BE

The Funny Bone is in Beavercreak and is located at "The Greene". The Greene is a newer area built maybe 7 years ago that is full of ritzy restaurants and shopping. Its like an shopping mall without an entrance to the inside if that makes sense. I compare it to an outlet center without outlet prices. :) I have never spent time to shop and browse around the area before, but I would like to do that before it gets too cold. Below is the link.

http://www.thegreene.com/

Funny bone

Tonight my bf and I are going to a comedy club in Dayton called The Funny Bone. The comedian Kevin Nealon will be there, hence the reason we are going. :) He plays in the Showtime hit Weeds as Doug Wilson, which is one of my bf's favorite shows. :) I like the show as well, but got really far behind and have yet to catch up. Anyway....

My bf has been feeling lousy the last couple days and I'm beginning to worry. He is getting sharp pains in his stomach after he eats, which is causing him to not want to eat. Today he is eating jello only, which is about the equivalent of water....not exactly healthy! He has never eaten well. He drinks soda all day, eats fast food, loves sweets, will not eat fruits or vegetables, etc. I try to have home made meals prepared so he will eat less fast food, but he is a picky eater and will not try anything new! I wonder if his bad food habits are catching up with him.

He won't go to the doctor, he won't go to the emergency room. It's a lost cause trying to help him. Now I'm frustrated! I don't know how to help somebody who doesn't want to help themself!! My hands are tied. Part of me wants to say, "Steve if you feel this bad and are having this much pain, go to the E.R. If not, shut up and quit complaining!"  I know that sounds cruel, but my mental state is whacked out thinking he could be dieing and he won't address the issue!

My bf battles with bouts of depression. I guess he has his whole life. Last year it got so bad I feared I would come home and find him dead! I am no doctor, but a big part of me wonders if his poor eating habits and not going to a doctor are results of his depression? He isn't happy, he doesn't like himself, so maybe that is why he doesn't eat well or take care of himself? I often wish I could crawl in his head and see what is going on. I want to read his mind because I never know what he is thinking.

This morning started out unusually early when my phone rang at 6:30! It's never a sound I want to hear when I'm sound asleep! It usually means my nurse or nurse assistant is calling in late or not coming in at all.  The answering machine answered and I heard, "This is "Name". Cindy when you get this, call me back. I'll keep doing what I'm doing, but call me back if you get this message"
I chose not to call her back because #1. I cannot just call her back. Me calling her back entails me hollering across the hall, yelling over and over and over again trying to wake up Steve so he could wake up and dial the number. #2. I have told her not to call me and tell me to call her back because of reason #1 and finally #3, she didn't sound like she was calling off of work.
When she arrived late (8:15) for work she said she needed to leave early (at 10) because her daughter's car was broke down and she needed to take her to work. I asked, "Uh she cannot find her own ride to work" Her reply was, "I don't know who she would even ask! She cannot miss work and school though" I said, "So, you're telling me its more important for her to go to work than for you to stay at work?" She began to raise her voice and remind me she never misses work.

We exchanged words, but eventually kissed and made up. Not really, but you know what I mean right? :) She is a single mom of three kids, two being adults. (19 and 21) She does everything under the sun for all three and they show no appreciation. They expect her to pay their phone bill, their car payment and insurance. That is why I was so frustrated today! This person was more okay with missing work today, throwing my schedule off, throwing another nurse assistant's schedule way off, etc. just to make her bratty 19 year old  daughter happy!! Cut the cord, will ya?

Weekend update

It's Wednesday and I have yet to post an update from my weekend happenings. :) On Saturday afternoon we went to my nurse's birthday party, ate a delicious home cooked meal with red velvet birthday cake for dessert and afterwards finished our night off at Jimmy's Cornerstone Bar and Grill listening to Terrapin Moon until the wee hours of the night. :)

The party was a nice time with friends. As I mentioned we ate a delicious meal cooked by my nurse's Mom, Nadine. She made fried chicken, mash potatoes and fried egg plant which I opted not to try. :) I met a couple people I had never met before, so it was nice to put a face to the names I hear about frequently. :) At Jimmy's the crowd was smaller than usual, but that's because their were two other popular bands performing in the area. This is what I was told anyway. :) I guess the next time the band plays at Jimmy's it will be in the building across the street.

I met with a friend last week, who was in the area for business. If you are reading this, it was nice seeing you again and hopefully your business will give you a reason to come visit me more often considering that is the only reason you visit! Just kidding! :)

I had an appointment with the Urologist Monday. I went to him because of the constant urinary tract infections I keep getting! He said he doesn't want to treat the infection, he wants to treat the symptoms instead. So, now I'm taking anti spasmatic pills for my bladder and rubbing this gel like stuff on my skin which is also suppose to help the bladder from spasming. UGH!

New computer equals major migraine!!

I got a new computer two weeks ago and it's been a pain in the a$$ trying to transfer my email!!!! I don't know why it can't be simple. It's the exact same email address, just different computers. I called customer service for roadrunner today, but nothing was resolved. I didn't feel like dealing with it after awhile so I lied and told him he fixed my problem. I will deal with it over the weekend!

Tomorrow we are going to a birthday party for one of my nurses and afterwards we are going to Jimmy's Cornerstone Bar and Grill, where Terrapin Moon is scheduled to play at 10:00pm. My nurse turned 44 years old yesterday and as much as I don't want to go to this party, she will take it to heart if we don't go. :( She likes to make a big to do of her birthday, where I'm just the opposite. It's just another day and I'd be perfectly happy if it goes by unnoticed! :)

Jimmy's Cornerstone bar was bought by Miami Valley Hospital (for expansion) and will be tore down soon. This will be Terrapin Moon's last show at this location before Jimmy's moves across the street in an old firehouse.

Have a great weekend!

Hi, I want to share this link with you. I've also added it to the front of my blog. Its a site that has over 400 FREE lessons to choose from, all you do is sign up once. The lessons vary from Math, Word, Excel, Access, Publisher, resume building, interview techniques etc. I have brushed up on Microsoft Word and my fractions! I <3 it!! Enjoy!

http://www.gcflearnfree.org/

I have returned Cont'd...

After visiting with Tia awhile on Family Day, Stephanie and I began making calls to Atg Rehab hoping to find one in the area. We got through to a receptionist who was going to try to find a technician who could drive to us rather than us driving an hour away, which would have been nice if she would have called us back! To make a long story short I got the idea to call the local atg rehab I always deal with to see if this was something they could help us fix over the phone. I had this problem once before and the technician came to my house and fixed it within minutes. We made the call and Chris, the wheelchair tech who came to my house, talked us through it step by step and we were rolling in 30 minutes!!!! Woot!! So, if this ever happens again, I will know what to do. :) We told him he gets a steak dinner...LOL :)

I mentioned in my last post about the field, the woods, the smoke and the 1200 soldiers. Here are some pics so you can see for yourself.

Beautiful, huh? :)



I've returned!!

Well, I arrived home from my trip last night, which was absolutely amazing!! It was so great to see my niece after 2 plus months. She looked a little tired, but she felt great and her spirits were soaring high! :)
We (Stephanie and I) arrived at the hotel Tuesday evening around 6:00. After getting settled in and freshening up from the long trip we decided our bellies needed filled. We went down the street and found a restaurant that neither one of us had ever eaten at before.... Shoneys. Unfortunately, it was not a good choice. My baked potato was undercooked and Stephanie's steak was over cooked! Grrrr! We went ahead and ate without complaining and came back to the hotel to watch tv and visit with my sister and nephew awhile. Later I noticed my breathing was labored some, which usually just means the batteries are low and need swapped. We checked the batteries and one of the indicator lights did indeed show one battery was low and needed changed. Well, after changing both batteries with brand new ones, my breathing was worse! Every time she moved the pacer it was shorting out!! I was so pissed!! I threw some F bombs and wanted to go to bed! Upon putting me to bed and turning my chair power off and on, an error message popped up on the screen! The message read "omni system error 810D". The result of this caused my chin control not to work!! I was LIVID!
The next morning we woke up and got ready to attend Family Day! I had contemplated arriving late to family day and trying to find a wheelchair company in the area first. Stephanie said, "No I will push your chair and we will make calls to wheelchair repair companies while there" That was a nice gesture considering a power chair is heavy to push, then you add my 115 pounds and the South Carolina heat on top of that... she was a real trooper!  :) Thank you Steph!!

As soon as we arrived we found our way to the wheelchair seating area. We spotted my sister and her family and visited with them until the "family day" ceremony began, which seemed like a life time!! :) Thousands of people were in the bleachers looking out in a HUGE open field that backs up to a deep wooded area. It started out  with a few people running out from the wooded area and throwing colored smoke bombs. Withn a matter of seconds 4 groups (280 in each group approximately) of soldiers start marching out on the field through the thick colored smoke and march in sync up to the bleachers. It was wonderful to see that many people dedicating their lives to our country.

After 30 minutes of dedication speeches, the families were FINALLY permitted to run from the bleachers to find their soldier. ;) Yay!! My sister and her family found Tia in the sea of soldiers and soon after they came up to me in the bleachers so I could get a hug!! She looked so happy!! It was so great!!!

This is her and I the minute we saw each other! She wears glasses so the military supplies these beauties. They are bcg's which stand for birth control glasses. Teehee! I heart you Tee!!

4 more days

I will be South Carolina bound in 4 more days! I'm so stoked about seeing my beautiful niece graduate from basic training and to also see her off to her next journey, which is AIT (advanced individual training I think). She will be going to San Angelo Texas for 7 months to complete that part of training. :)

I still need to get her a graduation gift, but have no idea what to get her! In basic training she earned the nickname Archer because she got her hands on tweezers and plucked her eyebrows. She could have gotten in a lot of trouble because tweezers are considered contraband, but I don't think she did. Anyway...for one of her graduation gifts her Mom bought her a pair of tweezers and is having "Archer" engraved in them. :)

Below are some pictures of her.

My doggies

I took my pooches to the vet today. I'm glad its usually a once a year event because its exhausting, not to mention expensive! They both did great despite being poked and prodded, but Buddy was pissed!! He did not like the girl holding him down to cut his nails!! He growled and snarled like I have never heard him snarl before. She had purple hair, spikes, peircings, a weight problem and an attitude problem! She was defensive because Buddy didn't like her. I told her "Its not just you, its everybody" which wasn't entirely true.

I saw a monkey today. Her name was Emma and she was there because she was running a fever. She was sitting on the bench like a human. I said, "Bye Emma I hope you feel better" She looked at me, but didn't throw poop. :) I heard monkeys do that sometimes! :( I could have taken her home...as my service monkey!!! Those do exist. Here is the clickable link... Monkey helpers 
Even if you aren't in the market for a monkey, the pictures will make you smile. :)

When your best is NEVER good enough!

Hi! I'm extremely frustrated, so this post will be a major rant. If you don't want to read my vent, you should probably click the red x in the right hand corner...

When I start my day I figure out what the day will consist of from beginning to end. What I will have the girls make me for dinner. What errands I need to do that day. I try to weigh out what is more important, groceries vs. house clean, etc. My wheels are always turning. I constantly find myself working out strategies in my head that not only include me, but include my bf too. For example, I want to have a salad for dinner, but Steve doesn't like salads. So then I have something cooked we both like, something we can share. I aim to please most every day because I want to know he ate a good meal. The problem is nothing is ever good enough!!! I finally told him today, "Nothing is ever good enough for you"

If it was perfect, I think he would find fault in it just to bully me!!!
The other night he woke me up to tell me not to buy skinny spaghetti anymore! Omg are you serious? Last night it was to ask me who was the last person to use the hose. I said, "your Mom" and he shut up. He wanted to hear me say the name of my nurse assistant so he could bitch.

I often ask myself, "Is he trying to get rid of me by bullying me and insulting me everyday. Does he REALLY hate skinny pasta or does he like torturing me about the choice I made of purchasing skinny pasta vs. regular spaghetti"

I have finally realized there is nothing I can do to please him!

Changes

As you have noticed I'm making changes to my blog. I'm probably going overboard with the purple hues, but I love the color. (At least this week anyway) :) If you think I should change anything because its hard to read or whatever, I welcome your critiques.

Last night we went to a bar in Troy to listen to the band called Lost on Iddings. Steve was asked to sing some songs and play the guitar with them, so I was sitting with a friend for awhile. Well, I noticed a man at the next table staring at me. As soon as my friend left, Mr. Googly Eyes came over! Ugh!! It was apparent he had been drinking too much because he was asking me a boat load of questions and telling me his life story! He said he is a tow truck driver and has to scoop brains off the road. I didn't realize that was in their job description, but anyway! He told me I'm lucky to have lived through my accident, but in the next breath he told me how fucked up my life has to be! I tried to explain my life isn't fucked up, but he had already convinced himself me it had to be nothing more than fucked up. He then started to rub my arm and ask if I felt it. I said, "alrighty now, yes and don't rub me"... Before I knew it he was reaching across rubbing my other arm!!! I said "okay, I gotta go" and got Steve's attention. Oh dear!

I like going to gigs, but I dislike sitting alone. This always seems like an invite for people to come and park in an empty seat beside me.

Planning my trip

I leave for South Carolina in 11 days and I'm getting uber excited!! I will be attending my niece's graduation from bct training and the family day Fort Jackson has for the soldiers and their families. It seems like just yesterday I was posting about her leaving! Here it is 10 weeks later already! I was told, "Don't worry it will go fast" and my god did it ever!! Yay!! :)

Family was here last week. It was Steve's Mom, three nieces and nephew. It was a fun visit as usual and I think they enjoyed it. Steve took them 4 wheeling on two separate occasions, the Darke County Fair and the nature center down the street. Steve's Mom and I took them to the mall once and we also had a couple nights we toasted marshmallows and made smores by the fire.

His dad might be coming next week for a few days, but its not written in stone yet. We will play that one by ear I guess. :)

Have a great weekend!

Bird man in Troy

As you know, I'm a lover of animals and stories of animal abuse make me crazy mad!! On August 8 (or around there) the news aired a story about a man in Troy hoarding exotic birds and neglecting them. When I heard his name I realized it was the man who lives directly behind me. I couldn't believe something so horrible was happening so close to home. I wanted to roll out my back door and open the door to the "house" the birds were barely "existing" in and set them free!!! I was heart broken for those poor birds and somewhat for the man responsible! I know... you probably want to cuss me out or throw rotten eggs at me now! Let me explain.

I would like to think this man, Doug Radcliffe, loves these birds and the situation got out of control. I myself want every dog I have an encounter with, whether it needs a home or not! :) If I didn't have Steve telling me "NO more dogs Cindy" each time I said, "Steve, this dog needs a home, can we please... pretty please adopt it" I would have 30 dogs I couldn't afford! I also heard from my neighbor (next door, not Doug) that the media blew things out of context. The living conditions in the house were deplorable, but the neighbor said Doug converted the house to a barn like atmosphere for the birds when he moved in with his sister. Regardless, its evident the birds need a better home and after this is over I hope the birds are in a home where they are well taken care of and surrounded by love! :)

Relationships part 3

I'm back to the steamy topic of relationships!

I have been in a relationship with the same man for almost a decade. Okay, that sounded like a life time! :) We met on the internet in 1997, when we both chatted via aol instant messager. I remember the first time we talked, he said something I found a little offensive and I cut the conversation short because of it. Obviously that didn't stop us from moving forward. :) Anyway, we met in person a couple months later when he drove from Delaware to Ohio and stayed in a motel down the street from the nursing home.

We had a good visit, regardless of being restricted to the nursing home and the limited number of places that were within walking distance, being I didn't have an accessible vehicle at the time. We took a walk to the hospital cafeteria next door, ate polish sausages while chatting uncomfortably for awhile and continued to hang out that evening drinking beer and chatting it up. He stayed until 11:00 that night and returned the next morning for a few hours.

We remained in contact, but I didn't see him again until September of 2001. This time we met in Washington, Pa. and stayed at a Holiday Inn. This time we hit it off and wanted to see each other more often. From that point on we made it a monthly ritual to get together whether it be him driving to Ohio or us meeting in Pa. We continued this ritual for a year and a half.

To be continued...

I'm back!!

Wow! It's been a rough couple weeks!! I had a sore I needed to nurse back to health which required me to stay out of my wheelchair and stay in the bed! I have learned through experience that because I have a spinal cord injury, I can't ignore areas that get pink or red. Doing so kept me in bed for 3 months with a stage 4 decubitus ulcer in 1997. Anyway... I think (and hope) everything is back to normal! :)

I went camping this weekend, something I hadn't done since I was a campfire girl in fifth grade. :) We attended the Miami Valley Music Fest in Troy where a bunch of bands performed and raised money for charity. Terrapin Moon was one of the bands and they were scheduled for 11:00 Saturday night. The ironic part of this was the weather man said there was a 60% chance that a thunderstorm could come through Troy at 11:00, the exact same time they were scheduled to be on stage. We didn't think much of it because well, weathermen don't exactly have a good track record of being spot on with their forecasts, ya know?

Unfortunately at exactly 11:00 the wind picked up, it got cold, the dark rain clouds rolled in, opened up and poured tons of rain. It was scary to see the fires at the camps blowing sideways and see the embers blowing along with the tents and chairs. We survived though, the show went on and all in all a great time was had! :)

Relationships part 2

I'm back again to finish my tirade about disabilities and relationships. :)

When I became disabled in 1992 I had been in a relationship for 5 months with a man I worked with at my factory job. Our relationship obviously didn't survive after my wreck and I was okay with it. I expected it. We were both young, had agendas, had routines and had dreams to chase. This tragedy happened, I couldn't escape it and there was no reason for us to pretend our relationship could continue to exist. After he and I parted ways, being in a relationship again didn't cross my mind for years. I never dreamed somebody would want me, a quadriplegic with a trache, paralyzed from the shoulders down.

In 1997 I was introduced to a wonderful invention that changed my life. You may have heard of it. It's called the world wide web. :) It was then that I began to go discover websites, disability chatrooms, forums and I also began to chat via instant message. I chatted with family, friends, people with disabilities and people who were attracted to persons with disabilities. Yes, you read that right. People who were attracted to persons with disabilities.

See, I was talking to a guy (through aol instant message)and he told me he was a devotee. I was confused and asked, "what are you devoted too?" He said "girls in wheelchairs". I was shocked! I couldn't believe such an attraction existed. While many people would think this is just down right disturbing, I was fascinated by the concept. For the first time since my injury, I actually felt like maybe there is somebody out there who will accept me and my disability and perhaps I will find love again.

Through the years from 1997 - 2002 I had met a few men online. I don't know if they were devotees or not, but I didn't care one way or the other. I think if people are attracted to persons with disabilities it doesn't classify them as freaks, monsters, weirdos, or whatever! When people with disabilities assume that devotees are weirdos because they are attracted to them, it makes me ask this question. What is it about yourself that you hate so much that you think somebody else cannot be attracted to you?

To be continued...

Disabilities and relationships

Today I had a conversation with somebody about disabilities and relationships and it made me realize how close minded people are.

The conversation started out being about this persons new boyfriend, who has been a diabetic for five years. She went on to say that because of his diabetes, it can cause some things to not fully function in the bedroom. After she shared this way too personal (and useless to me) information she said he was dating a woman last year, who was a paraplegic. As she was saying this, I literally saw a fricking light bulb go off in her head. At that exact moment she realized and shared with me that the reason he was dating somebody in a wheelchair was probably because he was compromised in the bedroom. In other words he lowered himself to date somebody who couldn't walk because she wouldn't get any satisfaction from an erect penis anyway because well, she's in a chair. ARE YOU SERIOUS!!

She looked at me as if she wanted my approval, my assurance or something! I looked at her and was dumbfounded by the bullshit that exited her mouth. I said, "I'm surprised you would think that way. People in wheelchairs can not only have sex, but they can be great lovers" I asked her "What makes you think he didn't have feelings for her?" She then began to trip over her words and back track what she said, which was visibly awkward for her.

The reason that this conversation left me dumbfounded is because I have been around this person on a regular basis for years and she knows I have a boyfriend. What blows me away even more, she has an adult daughter who has been in a wheelchair since birth. She has told me time and time again, "I wish my daughter would meet somebody like you have." Wouldn't that classify them as having short comings or being compromised? Pft!


To be continued...

Gas chamber

While performing one of my many daily facebook searches Sunday, I saw that Fort Jackson had an update on the D Company facebook page!! This update included 143 pictures of the soldiers in basic training completing the monstrosity of an obstacle course and the painful looking gas chamber!! Yowzers! I was able to see Tia in action after she left the gas chamber and as she was going through the course. She was on her back, in her fatigues and boots crawling under a rope. So great to see her! :)

Her boyfriend got a letter from her a few days. He said Tia was having a rough time adjusting as she wasn't making friends with any of the girls in her platoon and that she had even gotten an attitude from a couple of them. She said she was depressed and felt all alone! :( I can only hope that she is doing better by now and making friends. Tia is such a sweet girl I can't believe she is not making friends. I try and send a letter every day! She says the letters get her through the tough times!

I wish I understood...

I wish I had the ability to open up people's heads, take out their brain, unravel it and study the reasons why they do the things they do! If I had this remarkable ability my first brain observation would be my brand spanking new nursing assistant, who shall remain nameless!

She is cute, sweet, 30 years old, has two children and a shitload of ailments! Today she was suppose to be here at 4:00, calls me at 1:00 and says, "Cindy I'm not calling off, but (When she says but, it totally meant I'm calling off)I just got off work, I got 45 minutes sleep, I haven't eaten, I have an ulcer and I think the acids in my stomach are making me not want to eat. My head is foggy, too." In my head I am thinking how long is this diarhea of excuses going to continue, but that would be mean! So, I said, "Why don't you lay down for awhile, see how you feel and call me when you wake up" My gut told me this isn't really what she wanted to hear.

Anyway...I hadn't heard from her (no surprise) by 4:30, so I called her. Her Mom answers. Mom tells me, "yea, I was just going to call you. How ironic you called! "Name" isn't doing well. We have her in E.R right now, etc etc etc" I said, "Okay, well she is suppose to work this weekend and I need to know if I need a replacement" She interrupts "Oh no, she will not miss, she will get medicine for her stomach, go home, we go through this a lot" I reiterated the importance of me hearing from her tonight regardless and she again interrupts me and assures me I will be called.


This whole thing smells bad and leaves a sour taste in my mouth! My bf thinks I'm wrong and need to give people the benefit of the doubt like I'm a mean person. This is the second incident with her and the first time she missed a 10 hour shift and didn't call in or anything! I'm not mean, I'm stupid for giving her another opportunity to pull this stunt!

I'm still around! :)

Hello, I haven't posted in a little while and I began to feel guilty yesterday, so I made posting on my blog today a priority! I have been writing letters to my niece every day instead of updating my blog, but today I'm doing both! :)

We haven't heard from Tia in a few weeks because she doesn't have phone privileges right now, but Fort Jackson has a facebook page so families can see what their soldiers in Training do in basic training! Out of 115 pictures of the group Tia is in, we saw 0 of her! My sister and I were on the phone with each other yesterday and together we were also on facebook looking through these pictures, trying to see even the smallest glimpse of her face, her ear, her pony tail, her frickin finger, just SOMETHING, but to no avail! We were so delirious we were grasping at straws convincing ourselves somebody else's daughter was actually Tia! :) Well, this morning my sister posted a message and a picture on facebook about Tia. In one of those 115 pictures my sister spotted a duffle bag on somebody (who was cut out of the picture) that said Fox T. and her number. LOL!! Sooo funny!! Well, we know she is there, right!?!?

I took Buddy and Lady to the park today. It was a perfect day for the park. :) Two little kids wanted to pet them and well, they were soaking that attention right up. :) We walked them around for about an hour and left. While there, I saw that man I previously posted about, the one who I continue to run in to often. It could be totally coincidental, but none the less creepy!

Buddy is showing obvious signs of hip dysplasia. (sp?) I need to get him to the vet for x-rays and probably a regimen of tests to see exactly what is wrong, etc. He is limping and avoiding pressure on his left back leg. :(

I will go now! Take care and have a great weekend! I'm coloring my hair Saturday! Woot! :)

Not Guilty?? Seriously!!!

Casey Anthony was found not guilty today and I can't f$#king believe it! My jaw
dropped to my lap. I don't understand! This is somebody else getting away with murder right in front of our eyes! OMFG!!

She may have been found not guilty, but that doesn't imply she is innocent by any means!! She got lucky today. She got away with murder, but her day is coming and that day can't come soon enough! Ugh!

Happy July 4th weekend!!

I hope everybody has a nice holiday weekend!! I think I'm sticking around here unless we go to a party/music fest today. We were invited by one of the band members and I heard the guy having the "party" is the veterinarian I take my babies too. Can you say weird? The vet isn't weird, the idea of me going to a party and seeing him there is weird for me. This vet is pretty cool. The first couple times I took Lady, he seemed really matter of fact with no bedside manner whatsoever, but he eventually grew on me.

Last fall I went in there because my neighbor's 3 legged cat was in my front yard and appeared severely malnourished! This kitty needed help he/she was not getting at home. Okay, I need to back up and start from the beginning. Take a moment to get coffee or go potty. I will wait!

You back? :) Okay, this kitty, who I will call Lucky, came to my house and was sitting in the middle of my yard for a reason. This was another example of strays knowing which house they can come to and get help!! (In case you are confused, I'm referring to my post about animals). When my nurse assistant and I walked out the front door we both noticed Lucky immediately as he lay on his belly in the front yard not moving, just meowing! His meow was raspy and weak....upon us getting closer Lucky hobbled to us and began rubbing against my footplate. His eyes were cloudy, he was skinny, his mouth was swollen and something foul was oozing from his mouth. I decided to take him home and let his owner know he stumbled upon us and if they were looking for him, the search is over! In my opinion the kitty was in the condition it was in for a reason and that was pure neglect on their part. We drove Lucky to his home, my nurse assistant opened the van door, Lucky got out and they went to the door. Unfortunately nobody answered and Lucky jumped in the van! I'm serious, he wanted to go with us. We didn't know what to do but we both knew if Lucky didn't go with us he would be dead within days!

We then took him to Krogers and bought him a can of moist cat food and gave him some water, which he devoured even with the ulcer like sore in his mouth. We went back in, did the grocery shopping and when we came out to the van he was contently sleeping on the bench seat. We decided he needed to see a vet about his mouth. We took him to a vet across town and that was a waste of time and a waste of $89.00. She was an unprofessional bitch.... She continuously curled her nose up at the smell being omitted from his mouth (like he could help it) and she would not listen to what I was telling her. She gave him a shot of antibiotics and sent us on our way.

The next day he was worse! He would not eat, was very lethargic and not responding to our touch, our voices, nothing! We took him to the same vet I take my babies to and he said the cat was in bad shape! He would not give it an iv for dehydaration without doing blood work first because he felt this poor guy was sick with feline leukemia.

I then was faced with the decision to either spend more money on my neighbors cat who probably wasn't going to make it or put the kitty down and possibly face prosecution...I had a f&*king meltdown as this beautiful sick kitty layed lifeless on the table. The vet eventually helped me make the decision by confirming how sick Lucky was, how neglected he was and him making a recovery was nearly impossible. I then decided to have him put down, have him creamated and have his ashes spread in a park like setting where other animals ashes were spread. I felt doing it this way would give Lucky a better after life than his life here and now. He was a special kitty! :)

Tia left today...

Tia left today and I can't seem to pull myself together. As I type this I'm crying so hard and don't see an end to this feeling I have consuming me! I feel this big hole inside my heart! I imagine my little niece leaving her home and entering a big world where she isn't familiar with the surroundings or the people and I worry about who is protecting her. I know I'm a "Debbie downer" and not looking at the upside of this at all... it's hard though when somebody I love so much is away and I want her home again! :( I'm trying to support my sister and tell her "This is a great move for Tia" or "Sherry, she will be okay, she is a big girl"... I can't help her if I can't even keep myself together.

Now that my sweetie of a niece is in the army I have been on ebay searching for every sort of memorobilia that says Aunt and army in the same sentence! I found a vinyl car decal that says "Proud Army Aunt" that I'm going to bid on before it ends. :) I also joined or "liked" two army facebook pages one being the place she is stationed at for bootcamp. (Fort Jackson). I can read up on posts from family members who talk about their soldiers and even post my own. :) It fills the void...

Hopefully my next post will be more cheery! Have a good evening!

Some people amaze me

Yes, that is right, people f*#king amaze the hell out of me! Today I went in to volunteer for a few hours at the access center to help with an event they were holding. Upon entering, my nurse and I were greeted by a well mannered and well groomed black man who I had never met before. His job at the center is to answer phones and greet people at the door. I'm sure his job details are greater than that, but that's not important. My nurse put her purse down, turned around to get my hair out of my face and put a stick of gum in my mouth, and that is when I see his theiving hand go straight in her purse and steal something!! I was shocked. Do I confront him? Do I tell Stephanie in front of him? What the hell? I told her to get her stuff because were going around the corner. We go around the corner and I say, "What is missing from your purse? He stole from you!" Thankfully it was only $2.00, but that isn't the point. He took something that was not his and I dislike people like him!! He works around people who are disabled everyday and has probably done this shady shit countless times. We reported him and he denied it so its hard telling what will come of it. After he was confronted he was calling every black person in the center whining that he was falsely accused.

I know I sound racist and the truth is maybe I have it in me. I spent 10 years in a nursing home and made friends with some black girls, but also bumped heads with a few others. It had nothing to do with their skin color, but everything to do with their bad attitude.

Animals

Today my nurse assistant and I were discussing her love for cats, my love for dogs which then turned into us sharing our stray animal experiences as we were growing up. We convinced ourselves that stray animals know exactly which door to show up hungry at because these stray animals found us, not people who weren't going to take care of them. Animals aren't dumb, are they? :)

Growing up my parents (mom for the most part, but dad was okay with everything) took in every animal that found us and never turned one away! Our neighbors weren't happy with us at all, but we didn't care! Our first stray was Pepper. He was a white dog with black spots, very wiry hair, had a raspy bark, maybe 60 lbs and not very lovable. Shags was next. She was a curly gray hair schnauzer type dog who was mixed with another breed, but I have no idea which one. Whatever it was, Shags was adorable with her eyes covered with long bangs and her big hairy paws. :) Her arrival was like this. We woke up early one weekend morning to pouring rain and Pepper barking excessively like he was going to attack. Well, my sister and I opened the door to find a disgruntled wet Pepper outside his dog house because Shags was inside his domain keeping dry while he sat outside and got soaked. Well, that was a bold move on her part, but she was a keeper! :) Next (a week or so later) came Midnight. She was also schnauzer like, black and brown in color, but much smaller than Shags. She was a frightened and nervous dog, but sweet none the less. :)

Well, I will continue part 2 of my animal rescue another day. I am going to stand in my standing frame soon while catching up on the Casey Anthony trial. This past week we learned that Lee Anthony is not the father of Caylee (Sorry, no newsflash here!) George Anthony's ex-wife called him a pathological liar (so???) and evidently George had a mistress in 2008 when Caylee first went missing. (Again, so??? this doesn't help with this case.) We also learned Casey has an inmate friend who had a daughter that drowned in a swimming pool awhile back and the grandpa found the baby....now we know where her fabricated story came from. :/

Tia

Saturday was my niece's going away party and it turned out to be a big success! She leaves Sunday to go to Fort Jackson in South Carolina for basic training, where she will be for 10 weeks. She won't go directly to South Carolina, she will be in Columbus first for a night and be on her way Monday. Regardless my niece is leaving and I didn't think it would effect me like it is. I feel nervous and nautious when I think about her leaving. She is excited and seeing how happy she is gets me through my wimpy sad moments. :)

Steve and I bought her a sterling silver charm bracelet with a silver heart as her going away gift. I'm taking it to the mall this week to get her name engraved in the heart and buying another charm with the army logo engraved in it. Each holiday we will buy another charm to add to it until the links are all filled up. Her bracelet will be like a book and each charm will be like a chapter in her life.

Yellow Springs Street Fair

Yesterday my friend and I braved the heat and found our way through the tye dye wearing crowd by going to the Yellow Springs Street Fair! :) I always enjoy going to Yellow Springs because the people are great! They are a friendly, unique, expressive and radical species all balled up in one! :) I have met a few hipsters since the boyfriend joined a grateful dead tribute band and they are truly great people to be around! One offered me a white molly at a festival one time and stupid me said, "what is that?" He responds in his hippy slang, "Dude, It's the purest form of ecstacy you will ever find. It's $50 for one, but for you it's free" I said, "Oh god no, but thank you anyway" Anyway, I digress....street fair was uber fun and the funnel cake was great, too. :)

I saw two girls that I met while living in the nursing home, which was a very special treat. The first lady I ran in to was a nurse and the second girl was a nurse assistant who used to date my brother for a short while. :)

After the fair I went to my besties house for a cook out and a movie. Her hubster hooked me up with a kickin hamburger which was better than steak. Thank you Kevin. Kevin and I got on a rant about Casey Anthony, the tot mom from Florida. It made me feel warm and fuzzy inside knowing somebody was more obsessed than myself with seing this crazy loon go down!! :)

Need a job!

I try to stay upbeat and play suzy sunshine, but today I can't even pretend to put on a happy face. I need a job and it's not happening quick enough. Every place I have applied to requires a typing test and a speed of more words per minute than I am able to type. I miss typing with my fingers!! Anyway..I applied to another company today and the typing speed they require is a little lower, so we shall see.

I appreciate all the people who come in and work for me, but sometimes it takes a toll on me as well. We all have our unique personalities and I'm finding myself losing patience with some of my aides because our personalities clash. It's very frustrating to have people in my home constantly and more frustrating when I have to watch what I say or do because it can get repeated to other clients or their family members. I have learned to not trust anybody who works for me and its sad. I want my nurse assistants to enjoy coming here and working for me, but wish it could be done without them crossing boundaries and taking advantage of the situation.

Strawberry festival

This weekend was the strawberry festival and the weather couldn't have been better. It was hot, okay very hot, but it didn't storm and that is a huge factor at any outdoor festival obviously. :) I hadn't been since 1991, the year before I became injured, but went because Steve wanted strawberry donuts... I passed up Frickers with my buds to go get strawberry donuts for my bf. The things we do to make our significant others happy. :)

Early last spring I was at the park with my dogs walking them around the bike path. At the corner of the trail an older man walked around us and nonchalantly looked down at them and kept on going. The next day this same man came up to me at Krogers and said he saw me at the park the day before. I smiled and said something like, yes I was there with my dogs and that was it. The following week I saw him at Goodwill. I smiled at him and he acted as if he never saw me before, which was odd. I saw him again the following week at Krogers. By this time I'm thinking is this more than a coincidence? We live in the same city, we frequent the same stores, big deal, right? Well, in the upcoming weeks I saw him again at Goodwill and again at Kroger. Now, I'm getting paranoid. On two occasions I attempted to get his plate number, but he always seems to park in a spot far away where we couldn't even see the car he drove. A few weeks ago I saw him at Walmart and today at Krogers. I saw him in the produce and again in the parking lot before I left. Ugh!! I'm creeped out by this person and definitely more aware of my surroundings now.

Family left this morning

The 5 day visit with Steve's parents flew by as it always does, but it was a great time and the weather was super. :) We cooked out a couple times, shopped for graduation gifts at the mall, planted flowers and painted a couple rooms as I mentioned in my previous post. :)

My niece's graduation was especially nice. She is so bubbly, outgoing and outrageously (that spelling don't look right??) fun and I wonder who she inherited it from. Nobody in the Fox or Welborn family have her spunk. Maybe its not something that is inherited, but is developed as you grow up. Regardless.... :)

I just read that the prisons are extremely overpopulated in California and because of this, there is talk of bringing flogging to the U.S as a form of punishment! There is controversy that this is barbaric, but it would be up to the criminal what form of punishment he/she wants. 1 yr or 10 flogs for instance. Yowzers! I wouldn't want either and that is why I try to walk (ok, not literally) a straight line and not get in trouble with the law! Maybe if consequences for people's actions were a little harsher, maybe the crime rates would go down.

Family is here!

Steve's parents arrived Wednesday night and will be here until Tuesday morning. They always help us tremendously when they are here and have all kinds of projects to do. I wish Steve would have inherited their energy. :) Today they helped Steve paint the kitchen and tomorrow they are painting the laundry room and family room. Our kitchen has had an apple theme since we moved in in 2003, but I decided to do away with all my apple decor and not have a theme. Instead I will keep the color neutral, get new curtains tomorrow and maybe get a shelf or corner cabinet to dress it up. :)

While I was outside today basking in the beautiful sun, my dogs wandered a few feet away and took turns rolling in something in the grass. Steve hollered at them to stop because 80% of the time they roll in something yucky, it results in the smell following them in the house. I decided to google the words Why do dogs roll in smelly things? This is what I learned. Dogs have instinctive roots that lead from the wolf. When a wolf (or dog) rolls in a dead animal carcass it's to show it's pack, look what I have found. They think of the carcass as its prize. Its also believed that they will roll in carcass or another animals feces to mask their own smell and enable them to sneak up on their prey without detection. Hmmmmmm

The world is ending?

I usually ignore claims about the world ending because it seems far fetched and unpredictable, but I'm beginning to second guess myself and not sure I should be ignoring these claims! I'm not saying I'm going to get my affairs in order, but...

Look at the weather. It doesn't rain, it pours and pours and pours until it floods! People's homes and vehicles are buried under water while they're paddling a canoe down a river that used to be a street the day before. Our seasons are running together. Tornadoes. Tsunamis. Earthquakes. Hurricanes. These "natural" disasters are killing millions of people and I shouldn't assume I'm exempt from these disasters. Just 45 minutes ago I was in a position where I thought I needed to find shelter because a tornado was spotted 3 miles from here. I don't have a basement, I can't get in a bath tub, so I would have parked myself in the hallway and prayed hard that I would be spared! Thankfully it didn't come our way, but it was quite the heart stopper to say the least. Yikes!

On Sunday I am going to my niece's high school graduation. I'm excited and sad at the same time. Excited because I get to witness and be a part of her celebrating one (of many) of the most important accomplishments of her life. Sad because 4 weeks after that, she will be leaving for South Carolina to begin her 10 week stent of basic training so she can be a soldier in the army. I'm proud of her mature decision to join the military, especially at this time when our country is in the condition it is in, but for selfish reasons I don't want her to go. I will miss her so much!

Fun with friends

Last night I spent my evening with a group of girls I graduated high school with at BW3's and had a fabulous time! There ended up being 11 of us all together. I was feeling a little uneasy at first because most of the girls had not seen me since my injury and I was nervous how they would be around me. I didn't know if they would feel uncomfortable, if they would avoid conversation, avoid eye contact etc. Well, those fears were put to rest immediately and the night was more fun than I have had in quite awhile!! We have agreed to get together more frequently (every two months) because we had so much fun and still have much more to catch up on. :)

Today I met a friend for lunch who used to work for me. She was my nurse for a few years, but had to quit because another job offer came along that she couldn't turn down because it was more hours. We had fun catching up. We are still close and keep up with each other via facebook. :)

Hello

Hello, hope my readers are having a great day! I on the other hand am not having such a good day. I can't pinpoint what exactly is wrong but something's just not right. Oh well hopefully the day will improve. :-)

I had my annual review yesterday so that I could continue to receive nursing services and it went okay. They always ask the same questions every year and every year I answer the same questions the same. Who is your Physician? What medications do you take? Do you have problems with your heart? Do you have swelling anywhere? How is your mood? Do you fly off the handle? The last two questions always get me. This year the questions were asked differently. I am usually asked if I have depression or have suicidal tendencies. I told her my mood was happy, but she still asked me if I ever flew off the handle. I told her I try not to fly off the handle, but sometimes it does happen. It makes me wonder, does she know that I lose it sometimes? Has she heard something? Anyway...

I learned how to make phone calls from my computer and it's free! I opened A G mail account a couple weeks ago and it has a button to make telephone calls. I had not had a chance to make any calls until today and now I'm ready to cancel my phone for home. The quality is very good and again it's free! Oh did I mention it's free?
:-)


I'm still looking for another job. I have tried to apply for the same company three times this week and something keeps happening on the online application process. Today I got to the last step and then I got an error message and was directed to step one. I'm taking a break from it and will go back later. I was about to fly off the handle like I sometimes do. :-)

As much as I hate to admit it, I'm going to be glued to the television watching the Casey Anthony trial. This week Judge Perry has been selecting the members of the jury. Each potential juror is being interviewed by the judge and we get to hear the questions and their answers. We just cannot see their faces. Many of the people that he is interviewing say they will experience financial hardship if they were to be gone for eight weeks. Many people have said they have animals and cannot leave them alone. Some have said they have plans to go on a trip. A Few have even admitted they have already have formed an opinion and think she is guilty. I am in that boat. I think she is guilty!

All right I think I will go now. I need to go to Wal-Mart. Have a great day!

Happy Momma's day!

I returned home around 11:00 this morning from our big girls slumber party and happy to say it was a good time. :) There were a couple instances where I thought there was going to be a little scrapping going on because of conflict of opinions, but thankfully it didn't escalate to that and it was settled in a way where we could move on to another subject calmly without holding a grudge.

On that note having a difference in opinion is very natural and if two people are able to discuss it rationally and agree to disagree, good for them. It's the people who are so close minded and who refuse to look outside their "my opinion is right, your's is twisted" box that make me crazy pissed!! I think the person I'm referring to is angry in her own life, so she feels better when she is ridiculing me (and those around her) about our opinions if they differ from hers. Anyway...I'm being vague and there is a reason. Its a blog and its public. :)

Buddy rolled in shit like most dogs do for whatever reason and is now laying beside me not phased by my dry heaving and F bombs! I certainly inherited my mom's gag reflex! I hope Steve will give him a bath tonight. My nurse assistant offered, but getting him in the tub is a two person job. She is preggers and I don't want her tackling his pungent ass. Maybe Steve and her could tackle him together?? We shall see.

Happy Hump Day

Happy Wednesday! Its the middle of the week, which means our big girl slumber party is just around the corner. :) On Saturday evening I am getting together with three friends and pulling an all nighter which I haven't done in years. Its okay, I will nap all day Saturday. We are getting together around 7pm and meeting at Maria's house where the festivities will begin. Will update the happenings after the weekend. :)

Tomorrow I have an appointment to get a doppler done on my legs. A doppler is an ultrasound that checks for blood clots. I'm prone to clots because of not being active and having poor circulation, plus I've had swelling and a blackish/purply hue going on in my feet and ankles for a very long time, so this will determine if a clot is causing my ankles to be cankles. :) Wish me luck!

Yesterday I met my aunt at the fairgrounds where she takes her mastiff (Jonah) to obedience training. Before we even got situated two dogs were ready to kick jonah's butt and all he did was look at them. He wasn't feeling the love of being in doggy class after those incidents and he seemed more content taking a nap behind us where he wasn't being bothered. :) There was a border collie in training with 3 legs, he was missing his right front leg. There was also a blonde colored doberman who had an albino look to him. He had red around his eyes and nose and some red areas in his fur. The owner told me he (the dog) had to wear goggles in the summer because of sun burn. Poor doggy probably don't like wearing goggles! :(

Well, have a great evening!