Vanity

I have always been a vane (sp?) person. When I was younger I wouldn't leave the house without makeup, my hair would always have to be curled in case I ran in to somebody I knew, my clothes couldn't be left over from the night before, bla bla bla. You get the picture, right? :) Well, 18 years later I'm as vane now as I was then. Having a big electric wheelchair attached to me hasn't changed the way I want to look and want others to see on the outside.
I decided about a month ago I wanted to get two lesions removed from my face because I didn't like the way they made me look. I wasn't concerned really, just wanted them gone. I went to my doctor, she referred me to a surgeon, and two weeks after that I was having out patient surgery to have 3 areas removed. The surgeon found another tiny one tucked up under my bangs in my temporal region.
What I thought would be a simple procedure and quick recovery, was quite the contrary. I was on a liquid diet for 5 days, half my face was bandaged up like I had been cut from my head to my neck, I now have a 2" scar on the side of my face, and another 1" scar on my temple. All of that because I wanted 2 eraser sized lesions removed because I'm vane!! After the fact I said, "I will never electively put myself through that mess again"
So, after a week of going to the office for follow up appointments, this past Friday I went to have the last bandage removed, get the last of my stitches removed and be done with the doctor visits and the trips to Kettering.
Well, unfortunately that didn't happen. When I got in his office, he took the bandage off and sat down. He opened his chart and said two of those lesions were melanoma and I have to have another surgery to remove surrounding tissue and get a skin graft. I was stunned. It's like I heard him talking, but I didn't hear a word he said because my thoughts were going rampid to say the least.
Am I fortunate I went to have the areas removed? Or am I unfortunate I went to have the areas removed? If I would have left it alone and not had them looked at, I would never know and I could go on with life and continue my life style of laying in the tanning bed and enjoying the sun. Now, that I do know, I would be an idiot to continue to enjoy those things and not deal with the here and now!
I'm hating life right now!